"My bad."
Years ago, I had a humbling "my bad" experience. At 11:00am on day two of a three-day workshop, I received a frantic call from my client.
"Where are you? Is everything okay?"
Somehow, I convinced myself that the session I was supposed to lead began at 2:00 pm. For someone who strives to be organized and professional, the embarrassment and panic I felt were immediate.
Fortunately, the team knew this was out of character. They checked on me first, then kept the workshop moving from the materials I had prepared. I arrived before the close and contributed where I could. The session went well, but the guilt I felt stuck with me for days.
Leaders know how easy it is to ruminate over what went wrong, particularly when you’ve made a mistake. There’s a tendency to over-apologize as you take the blame. But your team is watching how you handle mistakes more than they are paying attention to the mistake itself. Staying hyperfocused on one’s mistakes or getting lost in "fixing it" doesn't lead to the sustainable or desirable outcomes that move you and your team forward. So what do we do when we make a mistake? How do we handle it?
What does this say about me?
That was the question in my mind. Not "How do I recover to serve the client?" My ego took over, which turned a mistake into a character flaw.
So, what happened? Why was the mistake made in the first place? Well, the night before, I'd opened an email about a disputed invoice that was unresolved for months. There was nothing I could do about it but I let the frustration in, and it followed me into the next morning. This mistake came about because I (mentally) carried a problem I had been struggling with into the next day, where a self-imposed distraction commanded my attention.
Leaders, you set the tone for how mistakes get handled across teams and within the organization. When you handle it calmly, you give others permission to do the same. When you spiral, your team does as well. Eventually, they start telling you less, with more hedging — and you hear about the problem when it has gotten bigger or out of control.
So the next time you make a mistake — and there will be a next time, pause, take a couple of deep breaths. Ask, “What's the one thing I can do right now?” Maybe it’s acknowledging what happened, such as: "I missed the start time." Maybe it’s an acknowledgment or apology. Maybe it’s saying what you'll do next. Maybe it’s all of that. The key is to repair, learn, then act. That’s it.
Build Resilience Before It's Needed
Back to my example…the session stayed on track because the team had what it needed to keep moving. Support from the administrative team, shared materials, clear documentation, facilitation notes, practical checklists, and a group ready to continue. That was a tremendous help.
Here's the truth: I wasn't at my best that morning, but the team being able to do what they needed to do wasn’t dependent on my being the best.
That's the whole thing. When a team recovers well, it isn't solely because someone kept their composure. It's because the underlying systems were strong — defined roles, accessible documentation, and clear coverage so others can step in with confidence. Resilience lives in the system, not in one person's composure on a hard day.
This is worth a harder look if you're the one accountable for the whole organization. If your continuity depends on particular people being steady, you don't have resilience. You have luck. Every leader has a bad moment. The question is whether resilience is built in before it’s needed. So, is your team prepared when things go off course?
Mistakes are information
Treat mistakes as information to learn from. Consider them as brief interruptions that point to a gap in the system. Own the mistake, learn from it, and move forward.
That's the kind of leadership that shows a team that it’s okay to make a mistake and how to handle them in a healthy way when they do.
How does seeing mistakes in this way help you become a stronger leader and team?
Closing Thought
Mistakes are opportunities to do it differently, and better.